This is no longer the location of my blog. Please update your bookmarks to http://joe-bloom.blogspot.com

Thanks!

JB

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 2:25PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

So yeah, obviously this blog has been on hold for a while. Perhaps I'll start it back up in the fall when I'm back at school.

Thanks for reading.

JB

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 8:05PM FROM BLUEMONT, VA

I finally got tired of squinting.  It wasn’t that I couldn’t read what was on the board, but sometimes it was like a puzzle to identify a letter masquerading as another, especially in the technology classrooms with white boards and light markers.  So today I wore my glasses to class; the glasses that aren’t supposed to do too much.  The ones I’m supposed to wear while driving at night or in the rain, just to ensure that I can see clearly. For the optometrist’s understated synopsis of the capabilities of these glasses, they truly are quite powerful.

As I rode my bike out of my apartment complex into the busy street, I was struck by the beauty of the day.  At first I thought it must be the contrast between the drab and drear of the recent weather, and the cool breeze and shining sun of today.  As I rode down the hill, passing cars stopped at a traffic light, I realized that the vivid flashes of sun glinting off the fenders and hoods were not commonplace, even on the sunniest of days.  It finally hit me.  The glasses!

I realized that for all the times my glasses had guided me through rainy nights, for all the times they’d let me appreciate high definition movie theaters, I had not once worn them outside in the day time.

Goodness what I’ve been missing!  So I’ve kept them on all day, I’ve easily read the letters on the board (even the least contrasting colors), and I’ve been seeing things all day that I hadn’t seen before.  For instance, the clean-cut, all-American fraternity poster boy three rows in from of me? Let’s just say you could re-shoot “It’s a Wonderful Life” with his dandruff.

And one thing that amused me that I would have seen with or without my glasses: on a public computer, in the search text box, “diagramming sentecnes.”  I hope my friend, the grammatical inquirer, found what he was looking for.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 8:29PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

For a little while there, it seemed that maybe my decision to include my current location at the bottom of my posts was unnecessary.  To be sure, it has become obvious to anyone who wasn't already aware, I spend the vast majority of my time in Harrisonburg.  But, I am glad to have opportunity to change that location for the first time (hopefully of many, with considerable geographic variation).  I've really stepped out this time, and am writing from what my collegiate compatriots would dub "home-home".

I've been home all weekend, and thus have been dabbling in my constant pursuit of writing songs.  The interesting thing, however, is what effect my change in location has on my writing.

When I return home, if only for a few days, I seldom bring a guitar.  The result of which is that I often write on a piano.  And my, how different the songs turn out.  Different chord progressions present themselves, different rhythmic and melodic ideas are inspired my this mechanism of the instrument.  And of course, my limited amount of skill certainly insures the musical simplicity I prefer in my songs.

In this particular case, I had found the lyrical concept while driving over the Blue Ridge mountain at night in the rain.  And with music playing; that is a departure from convention for me, as other music usually blocks me from thinking up new songs.  The next morning I sat at the piano to add a melody and chords, and the ballad that emerged made me smile.  It's quite dramatic, romantic (in the poetic sense), and I'm sure that when I record it, I've got to find a way to get some strings on there.

In sum, to my fellow writers, if you'd like to paint a different picture, try using a different brush.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 11:08AM FROM MIDDLETOWN, VA

I’ve just uploaded a brand new song entitled She’s Leavin’ Me, and boy are my arms tired.

That should be a new trend, tagging a totally unrelated punch line onto whatever you happen to be saying.  Could be huge.

Anyway, more on the new song.  I once heard it said that a true artist could make music with nothing but a tin can.  It may be possible, but I’d never buy the record.  What I do know, however, is that when necessary, one can certainly do a lot with a little.  Take my new song, for example.  Though I’m currently residing in a two bedroom, college-housing type apartment, far removed from the resources and capabilities of my recording studio, the creative bug never ceases to itch at me.  So I’ve compiled only the nearest and dearest, smallest and lightest, most indispensable of my recording gear together in the confines of my bedroom at the apartment.  It is a cramped recording environment, to be sure.   But I like to think I’m making it work pretty well.  I would love to post some photos, but at the moment I don’t have access to a camera.  Maybe I’ll get some up soon.

In the meanwhile, enjoy the brand new joint, She’s Leavin’ Me, and be sure to shoot me an email and let me know how you like it!

PS You can read more about the story behind the song on the music page.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 1:30AM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

Just thought I’d share a couple wonderful excerpts from my delightfully understated Professor.  To help these make sense, keep in mind that the class is an introduction to symbolic logic.

“This states that there exists a Y such that Y is a dog.  Is that true?  Yes, it’s true, there is a dog.  Unfortunately, there are lots of dogs.”

“My wife was kind enough to label the bottle ‘sea water’, after she yelled at me for drinking some of it.  She wanted to bring it home as a souvenir, along with the seashells and other garbage we picked up.”

To any skeptics, I transcribed these gems in class today moments after they were uttered.  They are the actual words of this wonderful, hilarious man.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 7:33PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

I would speculate, and be reasonably safe in my estimation that, many of my friends and acquaintances would describe me as a “grammar snob”.  Though I can withstand this label, I do think it is erroneous because while being wholly enamored with the English language and its many intricacies and varieties, I do my best to bite my critical tongue unless faced by such a stunning misuse of the language that it perverts the culprit’s meaning beyond interpretation.

Equally bewildering, indeed, are the numerous and severe conceptual errors in publication.

Bumper stickers are a media so devoid of intelligence that they hardly merit my attention, but since it was a bumper sticker that inspired this discussion, I find it appropriate that I share the nonsense in question: 

            “SAVE A FIRETRUCK, RIDE A FIREMAN”

What?!?  I would really like to meet the person who nominated this phrase.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 5:04PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

Halloween night was awesome.  I got to spend it handing out candy on my parent’s front porch with my lovely girlfriend, Claire.

Okay, I didn’t hand out anything, I stood in a sweet power stance, shredding face-meltingly disgusting guitar solos and controlling the fog machine to complete my rock star image.  And my charming groupie did a wonderful job handing out the candy.  Enjoy the photos!

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 3:34PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

Autumn has always been my favorite season of the year, what with the cool holidays therein, the wonderful weather, the re-introduction of my favorite garment (the hoodie), cider, pie, hot chocolate... yes, fall is a wonderful season.

But autumn has been even better for the last two years, thanks to the most amazing warm beverage known to man: 711’s Pumpkin Spice Latte.  Thanks to 711 for selling it, thanks to Travis for introducing me to it.  Truly wonderful.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 8:42AM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

Alright! Halloween is here!  I’m definitely excited for the real deal: trick-or-treaters, candy, scaring people, cool costumes, and family.  There was a lot of Halloween-inspired festivity in Harrisonburg this weekend, and I must deride the JMU crowd for taking a perfectly good holiday with perfectly good traditions and degrading them in the name of debauchery.  A note to JMU girls: not every costume has to make a guy think you’re expecting singles instead of candy. And a rebuttal would be understandable, but please refrain from physical aggression when I call you out on your slutty getup.  And a note to college students in general: with a little effort you may be able to recall a time when you were able to enjoy yourself and your friends without being totally hammered drunk.  It still works, you know. 

But enough complaining about hostile hussies, flustered floozies and drunken buffoonery, I’m totally psyched for today, the REAL Halloween.  After classes I’m heading home to Middletown to partake of the ol’ costume prep ritual (I have the sickest costume of all time), and then it’s time for handing out candy and some sick scares.  I might have to stop by Wal-Mart and pick up some candy supplements; I’m totally trying to make my house one of the “cool” houses that load you up with mad treats.  What a prestigious honor.

Check back soon for awesome pictures, and have a happy Halloween!

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 2:27AM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

I think about music a lot.  Probably more than is healthy.  I think about things that maybe aren’t necessary to think about.  Maybe I just need to cut out a few “should haves”.  On that note, I should probably try to shorten my list of “will do someday, maybes”.  Yeah, sounds good.  I’m going to go ahead and try to occupy my mind with “am doings”.  There’s a unique satisfaction in enjoying what you are doing for its own sake, not as penance for having enjoyed something previously, and not in preparation for enjoying something in the future.  Is it strange that I write songs for the sake of writing songs?

Writing is my favorite interaction with music.  More than listening to it, more than performing it, more than talking about it (heaven help those people), and certainly more than recording it.  There is something about writing a song that is unmatched by anything else I’ve done.  Any musician can revel in the overwhelming feeling of a moving performance; I revel in my own performance as I play through the parts of the song I’m writing.  Any artist can identify with the surge of pride as they create something wholly new; I enjoy this immensely.  But there is a synergistic effect when these elements are combined, characterized (in myself at least) by a consuming feeling of peace, felt inside as though my guts have become heavier, and felt outside as though I’ve been washed by a warm breeze.  I sigh, deep.  Every time.

I begin writing every song with a vague and intangible impression that once I’ve finished that particular song, some larger task will be complete; as if once I’d crafted a masterpiece the compulsion to create would subside.  It never does, nor would I choose to have it so.  You might say I’m addicted to songwriting.

I couldn’t ask for a better drug.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 1:42AM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

I’ve been under the weather for about a week now; quite a bothersome condition.  It’s a perfectly middle-of-the-road illness, where my throat is sore and my nose is runny, but it lacks discomfort or functional impairment sufficient to inspire a visit to the doctor’s office.

What a conditioned being am I, though, that at even the slightest hint a malady, I immediately default to hot tea and a diet of as much soup as possible.  Mmmmm.

Hopefully, I’ll be on the mend before long. But aside from the tea and soup, I can’t claim to be taking much action to cause this cold to subside.  And riding my bike through the cold and rain can’t be helping.

In regard to my focus:  I suppose it is telling that I probably won’t even consider seeing a doctor as long as my singing voice is unaffected.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 2:27PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

Today in class someone mentioned Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up. Or you may know it as: Shell-Shock, Battle Fatigue, War Neurosis, etc.).  I’ve always been fascinated by this phenomenon, and for a long time have enjoyed entertainment and literature dealing with it.

Years ago, I read a short story by Hemingway entitled A Soldier’s Home, which piqued my interest, and since then I’ve discovered some cool books dealing with the subject.  Recently, I’ve been reading different novels involving PTSD, the Vietnam War, veterans, etc.  If this interests you at all, check out authors Tim O’Brian, and my personal favorite, Nelson DeMille.

Anyway, what happened in class today was interesting.  The girl seated behind me told of a substitute teacher at her high school who was a Vietnam vet.  He was soon dubbed “Colonel Bill”, and it sounds like some of the students were quite intrigued by this character.  My classmate did not describe how it happened, but one of her fellow students discovered that Colonel Bill suffered (or had once suffered) from post-traumatic stress, and if he heard the phrase “charlie in the trees” it would trigger a drastic response.

As awful as it sounds, it is no stretch to guess that one of these high school kids decided that it was too rich an opportunity to pass up, so one day in class he shouted “charlie in the trees”.  As soon as he heard the words, Colonel Bill fell to the ground, curled up into a ball, and had a panic attack so severe he had to be taken to the hospital by EMTs.  Obviously, it was a terrible misjudgment by the culprit.  However, my classmates and I weren’t indulged in knowing his disciplinary fate.  What is most remarkable to me, though, is the unfathomable power of the human brain to create such a visceral and lasting connection between this man’s experience years ago and across the globe, and four simple words spoken in his classroom.  Astounding.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 5:53PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

Hooray, my team is in the World Series!  Okay, I confess, I don’t really “have a team”.  I don’t even follow baseball.  In fact, I hate baseball.  There, I said it, I hate baseball.  Talk about boring!  Talk about non-athletic! Talk about gay uniforms!

Anyway, the only reason I bring it up at all is because my mom’s cousin manages the Colorado Rockies, and they’re in the series this year, for the first time in quite a while, I’m told.  I read an article about their recent rise, and apparently my mom’s cousin had been pretty integral in the success of the team.  Very cool.

It’s a strange thing, though, finding out that a relative is very successful and maybe even semi-famous.  It’s a small rush until you realize that the fact will have little or no affect on your life, whatsoever.  I told my friend, who’s into baseball, that my second cousin (Is that right? Or is he “removed”? Am I even related to the guy?) manages the Rockies and he enthusiastically encouraged me to meet up with the guy, do a little brown-nosing, and try to get a job doing “PR or something”.  PR for a baseball team? Yeah, right.

Though I’m happy for that dude since he’s rich and renowned,  the fact remains:

I hate baseball, and I ain’t rich yet.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 2:37PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

I have a hypothesis about knives.  Well, more about guys.  Well, okay, about guys’ relationship to knives.  It can hardly be disputed that knives have a powerful grasp on the male psyche.  They hold the power to sell a movie (Rambo), sell another movie (Crocodile Dundee), sell two movies at once (Kill Bill, vols. I&II [and yes, swords are just big knives]), and rumor has it they may actually have a functional purpose in real life.

My hypothesis, however, pertains to male knife buying behavior.  An exhaustively repeated hypothesis is that women tend to “shop” whereas men tend to “buy”.  In other words, our disposition is to have a specific purpose for entering a store, and to make an expeditious exit once this purpose is fulfilled.  The exception, I would say, is when knives are involved.

There should be a knife rack at the checkout lane, not candy.  I can’t count how many times I’ve been with a friend in a knife-peddling establishment when they a) express astonishment at the low price of a knife, and b) buy it, knowing full well they’ll never, not once, actually use it.

My hypothesis is that when faced with a knife for sale, if it is priced in such a way that the overall length in inches (handle included) exceeds the dollar amount of the price, a man will have no choice but to buy it.  Wal-Mart machete: $9.95.  That’s like fifty cents per inch of tempered steel killing power!  How could you ever pass up a deal that good?  That’s like telekinesis at twenty-five cents a minute!

So what the hell am I ever going to do with this nine-inch, odd-shaped, has-to-do-with-gutting-a-fish, knife I bought for $6.99?

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 9:06PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

I’m really bad about staying in touch.  I could name a dozen times I’ve told someone I’ll “be around”, only to realize six months later that I haven’t spoken to them once.  I’m not proud of this tendency, but it definitely led to an interesting exchange yesterday.

For once, I actually did get in touch with someone I hadn’t heard from in a while, David Loving – singer/guitarist/composer/mastermind of the band Solace Sovay.  David and I used to work together (at a real job), and spent what seemed like an eternity in my recording studio earlier this year, nurturing his band’s album Stuck in a Hay Bale from infancy to full musical maturity.  It was a very ambitious album, and I was glad to be a part of it.

During the recording sessions, David was gracious enough to invite me to play a little bit on the album.  I recorded solos for a serene folky number, See What’s Shown, and did a more jovial bit during a reggae section in the tune Encoded Fun.

Yesterday I came to find out that not only has the album garnered favorable reviews, but the band has signed a merchandise deal, and some selections from the disc are getting airplay.

Great for the band, and for me too!  It seems See What’s Shown was chosen as representative of the group’s talents, and has been spinning on some thirteen radio stations.  And whose solos are on that puppy?  Yours truly, but of course.

Check out Solace Sovay:
http://www.myspace.com/solacesovay

Be sure to listen to my pickin’ on See What’s Shown.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 6:08PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA

While contemplating upon the ever-evolving landscape of the modern English language, it occurs to me that more than any other category, the blossoming bounty of sexual slang is gaining ground like never before.  But take care when encountered by these seemingly innocuous pairings of adjectives (or pronouns) with a common noun...

Suffice it to say, if you find yourself, in the throes of passion, faced with the question of whether or not you would enjoy a “Peanut Butter Bagel”, I’d strongly advise you to decline.

POSTED BY JOE BLOOM AT 5:17PM FROM HARRISONBURG, VA